Fear is one of the biggest obstacles that you will ever face in life. If you allow it, fear will cripple you while completely stripping you of your self-confidence. The reality is that fear is a learned behavior. It is something that is instilled in our minds at a very early age. Social Science shows that, as a child, you have heard the word NO 40,000 times by the age of five (before you even started the first grade). On the other hand, you have only heard the word YES approximately 5,000 times – that is eight times as many No's as Yes's. No wonder only 5% of people truly achieve their dreams. I believe that people are designed for Success, but they get programmed and conditioned for failure. A lack of confidence plays a major role in that.
There are three main things that rob you of your Confidence.
The First one is doubt, which is the single greatest enemy. It limits your potential. It causes procrastination. It will cause you to miss God's best. When you doubt, you let your circumstances control you.
Second is comparing yourself to others. 2 Corinthians 10:12 says that people who compare themselves to other people are foolish. You should never compare yourself to anybody else – you are unique! God made you to be you; He doesn't want you to be somebody else.
The Third is past failures. Many of us believe that because we have failed in certain areas in our lives that we are not “capable” or “able” to accomplish our God-given dreams. That could not be further from the truth.
So how do you deal with the lack of confidence in our society today? What Steps can you currently take in order to regain your confidence? Here are five things that, through my experience, I believe can have a huge impact in your life:
- Seek God - This is where it all starts. It is my opinion that your Confidence should not depend on something you may lose. Throughout my life, I have seen people build their confidence and the foundation for their lives on their success, money, accomplishments, relationships, their Physiques, and their reputation, etc. The problem is that when you do that, you are setting yourself up for failure. When I went through the biggest storm in my life, I was completely lost and had no confidence whatsoever. I then realized very quickly that my confidence had been built on the wrong things. So after a tremendous amount of pain, I decided to build my life on the one thing that I know no one can ever take away from me, God’s love. My life has never been the same!
- Celebrate your accomplishments - Nothing builds up your confidence more than accomplishments, regardless of how insignificant or small they may seem. Progress is the biggest human motivator, so learn to appreciate and embrace it.
- Change your environment - There is no such thing as a neutral relationship – either people are building you up or dragging you down, there is no “middle ground” Strive to surround yourself with people who believe in you, who want to win, who will stretch you and encourage you to grow. I believe that if you are the smartest one in your group, then you are stupid. Don't join the easy crowd, you will never grow.
- Read - Nothing will impact your life more than the people you surround yourself with and the books that you read. Remember that the battle is in your mind and that's exactly where the battle needs to be won. Expose yourself to the right environment but also fill your mind with knowledge and apply it. Turn off the TV, put away the video games, cut back on social media and grab a great book. It can change everything!
- Find a Mentor - Throughout my life, I have had multiple mentors who have truly impacted me tremendously. I believe that has been one of the main reasons why I achieved success so early in my life. Finding someone who believes in you and pours into you is crucial for your self-confidence. Learning from our own mistakes is without a doubt something we should all strive for. But learning from other people’s mistakes who have walked the walk longer than you have, is even more essential, and a lot less painful.
The beauty of all this is that your confidence is something you can regain. My encouragement to you is to not buy into the world’s ideology and have it shape you into its mold. It is very painful and unfulfilling. Remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made for a unique purpose that only you can fulfill. You are extremely valuable and loved beyond measure. Never forget that!